Have I become who the Lord wants me to be?

Dear Family,

Well things sure have been a roller coaster this past transfer.  I arrived in Rapid City with excitement to return to Hot Springs branch.  I could hardly wait to see Mervin and Norma and the Horrocks.  So many people that I love.  But things changed really quickly.  The moment I stepped off the van, the assistant, who I had been sitting by the entire ride, told me that I had a new assignment…A sister in Rapid has decided to go home in the Canyon Lake ward so I will be taking her spot instead.  I’m not going to lie that really took me off my feet because I was really excited to go back to Hot Springs and see everyone again.  Apparently they have known I wasn’t going to Hot Springs since Monday, but they didn’t tell me until Wednesday when I got there.  It was  hard to have false hope, so once again, the Lord has a little different plan for me than I thought.  I’m sure there is another thing for me to learn here, as always.  I’m going to try and make the best of it and trust that I can’t see the bigger picture.

The last couple of days I have had some things weighing on my mind about going home.  It is so close and I am finding myself asking questions like, "Have I given it my all?  Is the Lord pleased with my service?  Have I become who the Lord wants me to be?" I am also excited about my future, yet torn because of everything the mission means to me.

So yesterday we were visiting a sister that was sick in the hospital and the Stake President was there too.  I served in his ward in Rapid City and so I know him pretty well, and he knew I was leaving soon.  Right before he left he said, with tears in his eyes, "Well Sister Johnson if I don't see you again, know you have served well.  The Lord is proud of your mission and accepts your service."  He had no idea I had been asking those questions and it really touched me.  What an inspired man!!

Well I hope that everything is going well for everyone.  I love all of you!

Sister Johnson